Output PROMPTS; Input REFLECTIVE ANSWERS

1.I made a pact with God that I would read the Bible every night I was in college if I made it in. I really had to struggle to make it here and couldn’t have done it without him. I haven’t really been keeping up with it. I can’t lie and say that it’s because I’m too busy, I just find something else to do instead. I’m trying to figure out a way where I can set aside a time each day to do it that way it’s scheduled. Breaking a promise is bad enough but I don’t doubt breaking a promise with God is a lot worse.
2. I’m an insomniac so I often look very tired. I wear slippers and a hoody from Tijuana that looks like a rainbow threw up on it. I’ve got shaggy hair and I look rather scruffy. I could easily pass for a hobo if sat in a refrigerator box in an alley. Because of how I look a number of people think I’m a drug user. Contrary to this misconception I have never used any substance or have had alcohol and I happen to be very opposed to drug use and underage drinking. I’ve always been this way but about a year ago my feelings on the subject increased dramatically when I found out my hero, Frank Zappa, was adamantly opposed to the same things. So considering my appearance my views tend to surprise people but as Zappa once said "The idea of people sticking things up their nose in order to be groovy is really repulsive.”
3. I need to become more organized. I really feel that I would be so much better off if I would just take care of things in a timely and organized fashion. My work area is always a mess and I don’t schedule a specific homework time. I do it when I get the chance and then if I get sidetracked I make little to no effort to get back on track. If I could just set myself with a slightly flexible schedule to abide by I would do much better on all of my home work since I would get it done right away instead of twenty minutes before class. Oh and just in case you’re wondering I did about eighty percent of this last night so it’s not like I put it off like most of my assignments.
4. Most people would be surprised to find out I suffer(ed) from depression. I’ve been on suicide watch twice and used to take medication for it. I feel I’ve overcome the horrors of such things and the need for medication. It’s an extremely crippling condition; it affects you physically in addition to the mental effects. You’re tired all day, there’s muscle soreness and you can’t focus. I finally overcame it through self therapy. And I’m so much better for it.
5. I think our society commonly uses the word hero as a means of saying a person who’s done something extraordinary or has had some sort of deep impact on a person’s life. I like to think of it as the latter. There’s a Chinese proverb “Listen to all, plucking a feather from every passing goose, but, follow no one absolutely.” I really love this proverb and feel when a particularly important “goose” comes into your life you should pluck many “feathers”. A hero is the person who had the most feathers taken from them by you. If we were going to go by that route I would have to say my father is my hero. I get my mannerisms, ideology, looks and many other things from him. He has had the deepest impact on my life.
6. I honestly can’t think of a point in my life where I forgave someone and it made me feel wonderful. I don’t tend to make a big deal out of such things. I also cannot recall being forgiven for some huge mistake or occurrence. I don’t think those kinds of things happen to normal people. And even if it did it seems people today never really forgive anyone. They either shrug it off or hold a grudge. Life isn’t a big episode of Dawson’s creek for me.
7. "The most important thing to do in your life, is to not interfere with somebody else's life.”-Frank Zappa. This is one of the most important quotes in my life It’s what made me decide to become a pacifist. I like to think that I can do whatever I want as long as I don’t infringe on the rights of others. I can freely swing my fists but when it comes into contact with your face I have violated your rights. So I try to be calm with people and not start arguments. And while I would never condone my spouse or significant other having an abortion I would vote to keep it around.

The public man needs to keep his eye on the ball not the scoreboard.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4555422

Harry Truman talks about how the public man (more often than not a man/woman in office) needs to think about the decision as it will affect the public at that point in time and in the near future as opposed to thinking about how it will make them look in the History books.

Reminded me of the Bush administration. Not that I'm saying Bush is acting like a hero and avoiding criticism to maintain profesionalism. But considering how consistent he is when he faces such scrutiny by the media, the country and the textbook writers. I thought it was interesting that something from the fifties is still pertinent.

Don't touch that burner Johnny, it's emanating conventionality!

Paul McHenry Roberts while charming fails to realize how ultimately difficult it becomes for people to defy their conventional thought process. His suggestions on the whole are incredibly useful and that must be the test of a true writer: The ability to go against their own mind. Eventually the way I understand the way things are supposed to be handled comes down to retraining your brain. Jumping all over the first idea that comes in your head is comforting and easy but the mind needs to be trained to think conventionality as a burner on a stove, avoid it at all costs. BSing your way through something easily transparent to the reader Roberts states not to assume the reader is naïve and the reader will know when they’re being taken for a ride.

How to write a summary in 150 words.

Paul McHenry Roberts’ essay, How to Say Nothing in 500 Words isn’t the slacker’s manifesto I had expected. Instead of teaching students to fluff up their essays he says to cut down on extraneous and repetitive content. In order to make the most of a writing assignment he suggest to throw out all the conventional thoughts that come to mind after reading the prompt and to play the devil’s advocate because of how much more interesting a prompt will be if it sounds like no one else’s. He suggests to avoid any usage of generalities whatsoever and to forgo hollow colorless words like “what’s left” for more powerful words like “residual”. He points out loaded words can bring interesting effect to the paper. In essence he has, instead of telling one how to craft the pinnacle of essays, pointed out ninety percent of what makes reading a paper as desirable as eating tofu.

Age discrimination

Recently Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger enacted a law in the state of California that would ban teen use of cell phones, laptops or other electronic devices while driving. How can such a blatant use of age discrimination make it into legislation? If California wants to reduce the number of accidents caused by cell phone usage why would they target teens alone? Adults are equally incapable of driving while using a cell phone.
Banning 27-43 year old women from applying mascara in the car should be the next proposed law. I wasn’t aware enacting a law that conflicts with another law was possible. Considering age discrimination is a crime on par with gender and race discrimination it seems preposterous that this law could even take effect.
The law should be rewritten to encompass all ages. Are seatbelts only mandatory for 1-12 year olds? This was hardly an adequate use of government time and money.

Finally

Recently Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger enacted a law in the state of California that would ban teen use of cell phones, laptops or other electronic devices while driving. I’m pleased to see someone has finally decided to put a stop to this madness. Your skills as a driver are drastically decreased when you’re trying to maintain even the most mundane conversations over a phone. It seems you’ll find someone forgetting to put a turn signal on while they’re busy chatting away about the movie they’re going to see in less than eight minutes while trying to find a parking spot
Etiquette seems to have died in the age of the cell phone, while probably not the root of the problem, definitely does its fair share of contributing. On the par with putting make up on while driving, cell phone usage is such a huge distraction to drivers. Teenagers don’t seem to know or care that they’re endangering their lives and the lives of others. Schwarzenegger has done a service to us all by banning teenagers from using these distracting devices. And by lumping in “Other electronic devices” it pretty much prevents teens from finding a loophole in the law and saying they aren’t using a phone but an iPod or a PDA.
I am glad this law has been passed and I foresee a slew of positive feedback. Hopefully this will cut back on accidents and possibly even deaths.

Trash cans as far as the eye can see.

I wonder where I would be right now if I hadn’t decided to do something different with my life. If we looked at the question from a literal sense I would be emptying Twyla Brandsma’s garbage right now then I would move on to Wendy Ellsworth’s and it would continue like that for hours. My life was the same routine every day. No variation whatsoever I lived from paycheck to paycheck. There were no goals. There were no rewards. Nothing worthwhile could ever happen to me. The greatest thing that could happen to me if I planned on staying there would be to be made supervisor. I would have gotten a dollar raise and then a quarter raise every year after that. There would be no hopes of becoming manager… ever.
So at that point in my life I would have been making 9.25 an hour. Not too shabby but not befitting either. Ten years down the line I would rake in a paltry 11.75 and I would be doing the same job in ten years that I was doing then. No growth, no progress and no deviation from the norm. I could have made ends meet on that wage but I would have steadily died inside knowing how tedious my work is.
If I hadn’t decided to change my life I would know exactly where I would be for the next twenty years of my life. I would know what I would be doing at any given moment. Which is such a horrible feeling. Now I have no idea where I’ll be in four years but I love it. Not knowing what’s on the horizon can be a scary feeling but knowing exactly what’s on the other side of every mountain is an even scarier feeling.

Serious entry deux!

On May 27th 2006 I walked across a stage at the Sioux Falls arena and received a leather wallet to the sound of applause. I did it. I completed my education. I had only then realized that the wallets did not contain our diplomas and we had to walk around into a back room to pick up them up if we got one. Did I get one? I speed walked to the table where they lay. There it was, in a nice manila envelope, waiting, congratulating me. I went home to cake without a thought in my head other than “I did it.” Little did I know the elation was long over.
A month later my girlfriend broke up with me and my dad was hounding me to get a job. I was living in my parent’s basement sleeping sixteen hours a day, never lifting a finger to help around the house and with no future in sight. What was wrong with me? All my friends had plans for college and were talking about all the money they had saved up to use on great TVs they were going to put in their dorms. Why hadn’t I put more effort into getting into college? Why didn’t I put any effort into getting into college? Was I under some foolish delusion that they would take me anyhow?
My father told me about an opening in another division of the company he works for; he thought it would be a wonderful way to catapult me to a better job. I said sure and went to the interview. I had dressed up and prepared for something similar to the Spanish Inquisition. The interview lasted less than three minutes. He asked me if I was going to school any time soon. I lied…. “Yes I will be attending Southeast Tech in a couple months time.” He was apparently desperate for a warm body because he had said “Look, I’ll make it easy on you. If you want it you’ve got the job.” So as I watched the training videos I thought about the fact that I was now a janitor. I felt horrible, I felt pathetic, and I felt like a failure.
About two months later I felt wonderful. I had a job, I had a place to live, and I wasn’t robbing banks, what more could I ask for? The job was clean, the people were kind, and it paid fairly well. The only issue that I had at the time was how incredibly tedious the work was. I think the only thing that kept me from thinking about how menial my work was was my iPod. As long as I had music I was safe. The existential quandary of loathing and self doubt that I had fallen into was appeased by the ten minute guitar solos of Frank Zappa. Three months after this “momentary” elation I forgot to charge my iPod and the depression returned.
I blamed God for all this. How could he have done this to me? I only now look back and realize how foolish I was to blame it on anyone but myself. I wondered if I was being punished for something. Never coming to grips with the fact that I had brought this all on myself. A couple days later a friend of mine took me for a ride and I complained about my job. He asked me if I hated it so much why didn’t I just find another job. I couldn’t answer him. I had settled. I hated where I was… but I was comfortable with it. It was a lovely routine and we’re creatures of habits. He told me that if I actually cared to change it I would. I told him I couldn’t do anything about it. I was stuck where I was because that’s where God had thrown me.
He told me that I was the ruler of my own destiny and if I tried hard enough I could make it out of the hole I had dug. He told me to go to my former high school and get information on taking the ACT so I could go to college. I was pretty blown away it was a lot to swallow. It all sounded very wonderful but how realistic was this goal?
Some how I managed to scrape a 26 on the ACT and was shortly thereafter accepted into DSU. It was like a dream come true. I figured that God had finally decided to stop punishing me. I was still adamant on believing that this was all God’s doing and had nothing to do with my own decisions. I got a good chunk of change from filling out my FAFSA and then my parents were turned down for the PLUS loan so I automatically got 4000 dollars. I thought everything was going my way after that. Then I applied for an alternative loan. I was denied because of my lack of credit. I thought it was just the bank and not a universal thing so I applied for more loans, eight of them, all were denied. I began blaming God again.
So I moved into the dorms and still didn’t have the money to pay for school. I got a deferral as fast as I could in hopes of stalling until I could figure something out. Why was this so hard? I was always told getting the money for school is the easiest part. I was in a brand new world with new people, and new experiences. I was attending classes and becoming attached to teachers while keeping the thought in my mind that they were going to kick me out.
Why was he doing this to me? I wasn’t a horrible person. I had my faults of course but for the most part I was a decent person. I had come so far: from taking out trash to planning for classes in less than a four month difference. Why was I falling so fast? It obviously wasn’t my fault. Or maybe it was I started thinking. Maybe I should take responsibility for my own actions. God probably was angry with me but not for being a bad person but using him as a tool. Blaming him for everything that goes wrong in my life and rarely thanking him when something went right. It could all be coincidence but it was barely a couple days later when I was alerted that there was a payment plan, which would be exactly what I needed since my nonexistent credit destroyed my chances of getting a loan.
All this has brought me to question why we, or at least I, seem to be bent on believing the very first thing we think of. Why was I so fixed on blaming a “perfect” entity? It seems especially strange that I came to this decision considering how I always blame myself for everything. My rage was so immovable. I was blinded by my hatred for my situation. I think this habit is why people can rarely be civil when speaking about religion or politics. We are so set on the fact that we’re right when the very person that we’re reasoning with, whether ourselves or another, are just as convinced that they’re right.
All this also makes me want to ask is the Blanket of Destiny the product of one creator, of a master and an apprentice, or two working side by side to make something beautiful? Do I have full control? Does someone else have control? Are they there to patch it up when I make a mistake, is there someone else ripping the holes? Or am I responsible for the end result.
I suppose the only realistic answer to this question is unfortunately whatever I feel comfortable with at the time. The answer I want is that there is someone there to pick me up when I’m down and that the end product be a beautiful creation. More often than not though the answer I succumb to is whatever I feel like at the time. “Of course there’s a God, and he’s destroying everything I worked to make.” “Of course there’s a God, I wouldn’t have been able to get a 26 without him.” Or the everlasting “It’s all my fault”.
I guess I’m just looking for concrete answers in a world of Jell-O. I suppose the root of the creator question and the question of why we immediately assume we’re right is laziness. For the creator question I generally go with the answer that’s easiest at the time. And as for why people generally assume that they are infallible is because of convenience. It’s convenient to always be right. You look much more intelligent that way.

Serious post time.

When it comes to my writing style I’m like a goldfish just put in a tank that’s too large. I don’t think about what I’m going to write about, I kind of just dive in. I’ll touch on one idea briefly in my head and then swim all over it. Then I’ll try swimming in a different part of the tank and pretty soon I’m all over the place. Generally in a five paragraph essay I won’t get an idea of my thought process until the third paragraph. By that time I have a generally swam all over my thoughts and ideas and stop going wildly and begin focusing.

Today is Tuesday! Pt. deux

Changed my mind. Just wanted to let everyone know that FF is a horrible browser. Opera FTW!

Today is Tuesday!

Time to kick off the blog for Honors Comp. Some day I'll write more than this... but not today.